“And she hears singing?? What the hell? And then a little genie comes out. HAHA. The genie’s all, hey what’s up. Not sure what happens after…”

It’s a bit rough, obviously.

I created these little guys a while ago so I figured I better post ‘em now.

So, in high school I had a better-than-modest collection of four-leaf clovers. Finding my first was nothing short of magical, but the magic died a couple of years later when a new patch of clover grew, ALL with four leaves, directly next to the driveway of my parents’ house—I think because of some fertilizer. Some of the clovers were nearly two inches across, some had five leaves. I’ve lost my collection since moving out, and every time I go back home I forget to check for the patch. But I’m not not superstitious, you know, so I think I’ll start searching again.

So anyway, yesterday, I noticed something about two of my most favorite messy-pretty songs:

“Stars” by The Clean

and

“Rising of the Sun” by The Rabble

The names of the bands and the titles of those songs are total opposites. Weird, huh. Also weird: The Clean are from New Zealand, as well as another band called The Rabble, but not this Rabble, who came from Canada in the ’60s.

I thought it was interesting! But then I’m pretty boring.

Does anybody else do this? It’s decadent.

Winona Ryder
Laura Dern
Emily Deschanel
Penelope Cruz
Veronica Lake
Judy Collins
Princess Zelda

Pick your favorite!

I’d post photos, but I think we all know how different these six women and sprite are from each other. And while I can’t see myself in any of them, I’d say it’s Laura for the occasional horsiness, Emily for the deadpan voice, and Winona, Penelope, and the Princess for the brown eyes and impish squint. Veronica Lake happened when I had a photo of her in my Facebook profile, and as for a young Judy Collins, this is what my stepdad said just yesterday. I may be a princess, but I’ll never be as ethereal as Judy.

Put on your biggest sweatshirt. It should be chalky grey, ugly and formless, yet warm.

Go into the kitchen and get a sweet snack. I like ice cream in a cone, with nuts on top. A cone like this is especially significant to the occasion because the top is difficult to consume while the bottom is easy.

Listen to any version of “The Weight” you prefer (I like the one by Smith the most; you might enjoy the original) while eating your snack and doing nothing else. Repeat song as necessary.

By the time you are finished with the point of the cone, you should be feeling better. If not, just go ahead and eat another ice cream.

Anyway, you don’t even have to be using the application to receive a notification at first. If somebody answers a question about you, Friend FAQ acts as the siren in the night that urges you to join and see.

I’ve had six questions answered about me that I know of (if you want to hide the painful truth you can choose not to notify a person), and here they are:

Do you think that Jackie still sleeps with a teddy bear?
No

Do you think that Jackie is cute?
Yes

Is Jackie’s profile picture cute?
Yes

Do you think that Jackie has ever cheated on a test?
No

Do you think that Jackie parties too much?
No

Do you think that Jackie is greedy?
No

You need to “spend coins” in order to see which of your friends answered what, but I’m not about to collect any more fake money than I absolutely have to. (See, um: FarmVille.) So, I guess I’ll never know. But I can tell you that one of these answers is false!

It’s not the teddy bear one, though I do tend to cuddle up with my fists under my chin like a giant baby. It’s not that I’m greedy either, or that I party anymore on days other than holidays. The correct answer to the question in question is that I have indeed cheated on a test. I feel kind of bad about giving the wrong impression about myself (oh, and I feel bad about the cheating, too), but I guess that’s the point of cheating. My mom will probably flip.

Anyway, I started a new project this year called Tree Association. It’s my own special version of those free association word games people and psychiatrists play, where you begin with one word (in my case, tree, because it rhymes with free—see how easy?) and make connections to new words. I plan to update every week with a new drawing, and if you have your own Tumblr you can follow my blog with the click of a button! (Otherwise, I don’t know, I guess you can try the RSS feed. Personally I still use bookmarks and visit one website at a time.)

I’ve come up with a pretty long list already so the associations aren’t necessarily fresh when I draw them, but while I was compiling the list I made sure to take no pauses. (After all, I think it’s better to relate a bunch of words all at once than it would be to actually do one per week.) So far tree has led to coral, coral has led to salt water, and salt water has led to tears which rhymes with gears. Isn’t my brain just fascinating?

1. Skating on a new box.

2. Not working at Rite-Aid.

3. Volkswagen Beetles from ‘66 and earlier.

4. Being debt-free. (He’s never been in debt, except to ME…)

5. “… and chicken.”

So there you have it, the five simple pleasures of a complex man.

It’s too bad I won’t be doing these updates in 2010, ’cause this weblog’s gonna be really quiet without them. Be sure to add me on Twitter or Facebook, and I’ll see you on the flip side!

1. Rum balls.

2. Steaming some milk for coffee instead of just grabbing it from the fridge last-minute.

3. Chapstick.

4. Cuticle cream.

5. When every day feels like a Friday.