Nightmares I’ve had about my boss, after quitting six months ago
My boss thinks I’m stealing toilet paper. I tell him I have allergies. “You’re FIRED,” he snarls, and turns into a werewolf. Or jaguar.
My boss barks an order, yelling for me to write it down. He throws me a pen. The pen doesn’t write, but I pretend it does. After my boss leaves, I sneak out the back door and run away. I’m still holding the pen, and inside it there’s a little plastic woman whose bathing suit floats on or off depending on the direction she’s being held.
I’m out shopping, and I turn around to look at my husband. My boss is standing there instead.
Same scenario, except I’m turning around to grab a can of soup. My boss is standing there, watching me with a frown. Suddenly, I remember telling him that I don’t like minestrone, which is what I’ve selected. He fires me for lying. I eat my soup straight from the can and it’s delicious.